Beauty tips for the boys: eyebrows

The Rt. Rev. Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury (picture), has been a disappointing leader for many of the world’s Anglicans, left and right. But I’ll leave it to the Episcopalians to give him a boot in the cassock, particularly his handling of bishops who meddle in others’ jurisdictions.

My beef with this learned cleric is a problem that comes to most men, but for which there is an easy solution.

Trim the eyebrows.

As we age, the texture of our hair changes — actually, I’m not sure if this is true for men of African ancestry, or if they have more attentive barbers; please comment — and appears in places it never had before.

So eyebrows grow longer, coarser, greyer and at odd angles to one’s brow line. On some men, this can give the impression of a manly wildness. Some men. Probably not you.

On most men, wild eyebrows are only a sign of unkempt aging. If you have a reliable barber and are over, say, 35 years of age, your eyebrows may be gently culled with each haircut.

If not, or if you wear your hair long, you will have to take care of this yourself. Just bring the wild ones to the same length as the rest of the herd; we’re not plucking or otherwise shaping here. A little comb (bring the offenders into the brow) and nail scissors do the trick. Mustachioed brethren can take care of this at the same time they clean up their lip line. (You do this, right? Cantar manages this.)

Oh, and a gentle whisk of a razor will take care of outer-ear hair, too. Just lopping them off, not shaving per se.
Oh, a word to the wild-browed evo Episcopal bishop of Pittsburgh: don’t bother with the above. Nothing you do now is going to make you look better.

Categorized as Vestments

By Scott Wells

Scott Wells, 46, is a Universalist Christian minister doing Universalist theology and church administration hacks in Washington, D.C.

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